Honor your Feelings, Follow Their Lead, & Reach out for Help: a Note to College Freshmen, and the Rest of us

Honor your Feelings, Follow Their Lead, & Reach out for Help: a Note to College Freshmen, and the Rest of us

Do you remember how you felt as a college freshman during the last few days of summer, move-in day, and the first few days of orientation and classes? Or during any new experience in your life?

Those beginning days can be extremely overwhelming; emotionally, socially, and intellectually.

I recently wrote a welcome note to the incoming freshmen at my alma mater, encouraging them to honor their feelings, follow where their feelings lead them, and to reach out for help when needed.

Here’s an expanded version of what I told the new students:

You may be feeling homesick, fear, excitement, or any combination of feelings right now. 

Whatever your feelings are, honor them. 

Listen to them, and follow where they lead you. 

Because no matter what you’re feeling, your feelings are telling you what to do, in order for you to become happier.

Everyone is different, so everyone will need different things.

Some people will want to jump right in and join clubs and teams.

Some people will feel achingly homesick or paralyzingly fearful, and want to curl up alone in bed.

I urge you to do whatever your feelings tell you to do, BUT at the same time, make sure to REACH OUT to whatever group or trustworthy person resonates with you.

If you need help coping with your feelings, please contact anyone on campus who makes you feel safe and comfortable.  Talk about your experiences and emotions, and ASK FOR HELP. 

You don’t have to go through anything alone.

When I was a college freshman, I was extremely homesick.  I cried a lot and had a rough adjustment period.  But I reached out to some people who were understanding, kind, and helpful: for example, my orientation leader and the head of Residential Life. 

Going to see the resident psychologist was an utter failure, on his part, but I didn’t let that stop me.  I counted on my family, and the new friends I was making, as well as my inner self, to get me through my tough time. 

So, I urge you, please allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, and then take steps from there to make your life as happy as possible.  There are people eagerly waiting to help you!

And trust me: you, yourself, have within you the ability to do whatever will help you thrive!

Good luck!  (And keep me with you if you’d like to.)

If you’d like to reach out to me, please do so at [email protected].

As I mentioned, I experienced lots of homesickness and normal nervousness when I started college, and I know how to navigate through it all.

Now, the theme of this message goes out to everyone, not just to college freshmen.  I ask everyone to please honor your feelings and let them lead you where you need to be.  Try to gather the courage to ask for help and reach out when you need it.  That also includes reaching out to me, because I’m always here for you.

Feel free to contact me at [email protected] and/or follow me on my website and/or on social media (Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram).

My best wishes and encouragement to all of you.

You can face whatever is in front of you.

All my love and hugs,

Steph

Ps. If you know someone who could use some help coping with their feelings, please pass this on to them.  This encouragement might be exactly what they need!

Pps. As James Taylor reminds us: “when you’re down and troubled, and you need a helping hand…You’ve Got a Friend”: