I admit it: I’ve been a perfectionist for most of my life.
My motto has always been “when I do something, I do it right.”
Well, that has made me pay the price in many circumstances. The biggest of which was earlier on in my illness when I pushed too hard in high school. I took honors and Advanced Placement classes, I was a year ahead in English, and that was all while I was coming down with my illness’ exhaustion, but still also doing extracurricular activities.
Boy, did I push. I felt anxious that if I didn’t spend all of my time working and studying, then I wouldn’t get top grades. And if I didn’t get top grades, then… *gasp*… who knows what would happen…I wouldn’t get into a good college, I wouldn’t get into a good graduate school, I wouldn’t find a good job, etc etc etc.
So I worked my tail off to get all of my homework and exams “perfect.”
I did end up getting great grades and getting into a top University. But at what cost? I didn’t have truly close friendships, and I was beyond exhausted. I practically slept from Friday nights to Sunday afternoons just to get by.
So, I decided to change things up in college (luckily, most of my college classes were also easier than my high school ones). I opened my horizons and joined all sorts of groups, met different people, made new friends, and didn’t try to make all of my schoolwork perfect. And you know what? I still did well. And I still graduated with honors.
But my whole life experience during college was completely different. I was more social and I slept a lot more! Of course, my disease progressed during my four years in school, and I became debilitated towards the end.
But I’ve continued my newfound philosophy of “perfectionism is a problem.” For instance, when I write my blog posts now, I put all my effort into them and do my best. Yet, I don’t aim for perfection. I know that there are some things that I could do better. Except, I still need to survive.
So, I constantly let go of perfection and I do what’s “good enough.” I hope that my honesty and authenticity will radiate out to you, and that you will feel what I’m saying…that you’ll feel my love and desire for you to live your happiest life…and that maybe my tips will resonate with you.
Including the fact that perfectionism is a problem. And that you will be successful and worthy of all good things, no matter what you end up doing (or not doing). Please remember that.
Now you tell me: have you ever aimed for perfection? How did it turn out for you? Your comments on the blog are always valuable to me and other readers. I hope to see you there!
All my love and hugs,
Steph
Ps. If you know a perfectionist, please send this blog their way. They may change things up, like I did, and find a whole new kind of life!
Pps. “Life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly…but merely to be LIVED. Boldly, wildly, beautifully, uncertainly, imperfectly, magically LIVED.”
-Mandy Hale
