NOTICE:
-This blog contains sensitive, but important, content.
-If you’re in need of professional or immediate help (in which there is no shame!), please: contact a medical professional, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or call 911.
This blog is in honor of World Suicide Prevention Day, this coming Saturday, September 10, 2022:
Have things ever been so bad in your life that you’ve wanted to die?
I mean, so bad that you’ve HOPED and PRAYED that you would literally actually DIE?
I’m not talking about roll-your-eyes “I wish I were dead and didn’t have to deal with this” annoyance.
I’m talking about break-your-heart-and-soul, break your BEING, pain and suffering.
Well, I’ve experienced that. And pun intended, it’s hell. Hell on earth. Hell, where you’re in so much physical pain that you would do anything in the world to make it. Just. Stop.
Hell, where your mind and emotions have extended wayyyy beyond their limits, and you’re. Just. Done.
My experience with debilitating illness has brought me to the brink many times. Where I’ve said, “I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to. And I don’t need to.”
But you know what? For some reason, I’ve kept on going.
Which brings me back to my original question:
What do you do when you want to die?
Well, for me, there’s a list of things I do:
1. I first remember that it is OKAY to feel what I feel. It’s NORMAL, and I’m not the only one who feels this way. I ALLOW myself to feel what I feel.
2. Then, I remember there is SOO much that I want to do on earth before I leave. I want to have a family, I want to help other people going through hard times, and I want to feel GOOD.
3. I remember that I have a purpose here on earth (we all do!), so I’m meant to accomplish what I want to do (even if it looks different than how I picture it).
4. I remember that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Truly. Just think of all of the miracles that have happened in YOUR life. All the strange big, or little, “coincidences.” I hope that more are on the way.
5. I remember all of the people who love me, including people I haven’t met yet; myself; and my Soul/Greater Power (yours can be God, the Universe, Nature, or anything you choose).
6. I remember the guidance that I have…from my inner self/my Greater Power, and from trusted family and friends.
7. I remember that there are GOOD people out there in the world who are working and fighting to help me.
8. I remember the simplest, yet hardest, thing to do: to find joy and fulfillment in something or someone each day, even if it’s for 1 minute, or 5 minutes, or 2 hours. Whether it’s complex, or as simple as lying down and closing my eyes. It’s not enough. But it brings nourishment, and shows more of what’s to come. And it’s permission to be myself and to do whatever I can.
9. I remember to surround myself with comfort: for example, listening to inspiring uplifting music, or music that makes me cry…so that it’s not only cathartic, but so that it also makes me feel and ache for what I want…so that it makes me keep fighting for what I want.
10. Finally, I remember the power and strength that I have within myself….to keep going, to keep hoping, and to keep working towards all that I dream of.
Because beyond dying, there is LIFE.
Beyond wanting to die, there’s wanting to LIVE.
So, I keep hoping, and I keep trying.
Will you join me?
Will you try to work to fulfill YOUR dreams, so that YOU can LIVE, and so that you can help OTHER people to LIVE as well?
I’m here to help as MUCH as I can.
I’ll keep sharing my tools and tips with you on how to LIVE and to keep on going STRONG.
Because no matter what, you CAN. SURVIVE. You can even THRIVE.
I do it every single day (sometimes just hour by hour, or minute by minute).
I’ll show you how.
But, I want you to know that you already have it within yourself, to do it all. I’m just here to help guide you.
To receive my sharings, I’d love for you to sign up, if you haven’t already, for my weekly emails at stephaniemarcovici.com, and join me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
I’d love to be there for, and with, you.
You are loved, you are worthy, and you are important.
Please stick around to share your gifts with the world, and to feel fulfilled by doing so.
Until next time, I’m sending you love, healing, and strength,
Steph 💜
Ps. If this resonates with you or someone you know who’s feeling troubled, please share it with them. I’d love to help as many people as possible. Thank you for your help in helping me…Together, we help each other. We may even help save a life.
Pps. Thanks to Josh Groban, for reminding us that we can be raised up by our Higher Power and by people around us: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJxrX42WcjQ
Thanks also to Wilson Phillips, for reminding us that if we hold on, things can change: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIbXvaE39wM
